A Bloody Mess
by WiseFarmer
Summary: Two best friends were fighting a war, keeping each other safe, but this is not just any war, this is the Hogwarts annual prank war. Only one house can win. And when you're in a house with only 2 people altogether, there's a 0.2% chance that you'll win. And a 100% chance that you'll get into a bloody mess.
1. First Year I

"Is that blood?"

"No?"

"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question."

"Fine, I'm trying to make that muggle fake blood thing."

"Why?"

I look at the floor of my housemates dorm room. It's covered in flour and food colouring.

"To prank the Hufflepuffs," she replies.

"Hmm. You know Slytherins are meant to be organised."

She pokes out her tongue at me.

"And mature," I add.

She huffs and flops on her bed, her hair splayed in all directions, covering the bedsheets in flour.

"I'm 11, we're only itsy bitsy first years."

"I guess I'm the mature one, huh?"

"Obviously."

"What do you have against the Hufflepuffs, anyway?"

"Their common room door covered me in vinegar again, I'm setting it up so it's a different tune. And, if I can get this right, it will cover them in blood!"

"Well, I'm not saying I approve of your actions, but… do you want some help?"

"Yes please, its too...not blood like."

"Easily solved."

"How…?"

"Georgia, we're witches. Witches do magic. Transfiguration. Did you even think this through?"

"I'm following it from online. Not that that's ever worked for me, so no, not at all."

I roll my eyes. "I… wow, okay, just… let me fix it. Also, this could completely traumatise some kids."

"And I care why, they put shaving cream in my pillow, again. Oh, by the why, we need to change the password so it's harder and not overheard. Maybe fingerprint recognition?"

"Make it All Star. Also, clean your bedsheets."

"Let me clean too. Evansco."

"No, wait-"

"Oops..."

"Just… Scourgify!" The bedsheets clean themselves up.

"Why… ugh, anyway, back to the fake blood."

"Right. Halloween's over, how about we stick to something a bit less spooky?"

"But the blood will freak them out. They deserve it."

"Freak them out with urine or something."

"Gross, not urine bleh. You work on the blood. I'm getting the password changed and those soundproof wards up."

"Okay, but urine will gross them out without giving them nightmares!"

"NO URINE! To the ward stone!"

"Fine."

Georgia runs out of the room, her tie flying over her shoulder as the door shuts behind her. I flick my wand a few times, changing the consistency and colour of the 'blood'. Ten minutes later, I poke my finger into the vat of crimson liquid and put a bit on my tongue. Eww, it even tastes accurate.

At that exact moment Georgia walks in.

"Hey Drac. Like blood?"

She makes fangs with her fingers.

"Hilarious. Those poor Hufflepuff's are going to die when they see this."

Georgia narrows her eyes at me.

"Don't exaggerate."

"Figuratively. I hope", I add under my breath.

"Hmpff. You sure you're part Slytherin, Sage? Don't you remember the time then stuck my hands and feet to the corridor with semi-permanent sticking charms. I was stuck there for six hours."

"To be fair, you put hexes on their broomsticks during Quidditch practice. The beaters ended up hitting themselves in the head. It's a miracle they weren't injured."

"So?"

"Georgia, you're my best friend and I love you, but you kind of deserved it and it's a miracle your house has any points at all."

"Our house. Were the only people in Slytherclaw. Remember?"

"I guess it wasn't like we were going to win anyways. 2 kids onto the rest of the school, what are the odds?"

Georgia sits and looks like she's thinking.

"That was a hypothetical question."

"Well, there's a chance of 0.2% of us winning. I think I got the numbers right..."

"Mmmhmm. So we've got the blood."

"Let's go."


	2. First Year II

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Got them!!

I look out at the Hufflepuffs that suffered the fake blood and silently laugh. Serves them right. I look over at Sage, who is trying to contain her laughter. She must of used a silencing spell. I should've thought of that.

"Finally, I got them back!" I hiss.

One of the Hufflepuffs, a fairly short girl with anger in her eyes, turns and stares at me, her freckled face burning with a look of pure hatred. Thank Merlin for the disillusionment charms.

"Why did you say that?!" Sage screams as we run around a corner.

"I didn't mean to! It just, popped out!"

"Well, they're out for BLOOD now!"

"They need more? They're covered in it!"

We giggle together as we fall through a doorway disguised as a painting of a flying snake that hisses at us in annoyance. Safely under the silencing charms we chatter about our adventure.

"That look on their faces! Priceless!!"

"Right? And their confusion when they screw up the password!"

"Of course they were confused! They're seventh years!"

"On that topic, are you going to change it back? The password, I mean?"

"No, I set up a muggle CCTV camera. The monitor is in the common room, hidden from teachers. I want to get Professor Sprout!"

"Okay, but it's nearly curfew, we should get inside."

"Okay. Nundu."

"I thought we agreed on All Star?"

"You said All Star. I never said anything."

"Meh, All Star's outdated anyway. I guess that's why it's so fun," Sage mutters.

"Come on, we better get to bed."

"We don't have to, it's, like, seven."

"But we have no homework to keep us up 'till one so, might as well go to bed early while we can."

"I repeat, SEVEN. That's dinner time usually."

"Fine, we stay up 'till eight on the monitor, ok?"

"YOU stay up until eight, I'm gonna use this time to binge-watch YouTube until midnight."

"Ten at the latest."

"We'll see."

"Fine, I'm sleeping. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, bean."

I head up to my dorm room and I can already hear the sounds of Dan and Phil doing a collab with Dodie Clark. Her favourite video ever.

Oh, right. We haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Georgia Ravit and that's Sage Dillon. We are of the only hybrid house Hogwarts has ever seen, we think. Anyway, Slytherclaw. Our common room is held near the Hufflepuff common room, but on the ground floor. Our mascot is a winged snake. It's the portrait-door to our common room entrance, a knocker, just like the Ravenclaws, although it's a password, not a question. It's also only accessible by the people of Slytherclaw, and the teachers. You might be wondering how the Hufflepuffs got in to put the shaving cream in my pillow case. The answer is, elves. Hey, the rules are use any means necessary, except bad injuries, although, even those happen sometimes You're also probably wondering why we covered the Hufflepuffs in fake blood. Well,it's the Hogwarts annual prank war of course!

It's house against house and Gryffindor is in the lead right now, but we're not doing badly, especially considering we only have two people.

The tradition started in 2002 when a group of Gryffindor students cursed all the Ravenclaws to make them recite poetry at random moments. The Ravenclaws got their revenge by cursing the Gryffindor portrait to change passwords every two minutes, and the competition begun. Hufflepuff never joined in much, until now. We pranked them accidentally and they took revenge. Now it's a whole school thing. Ravenclaw pulled out last week. Something about studying. Now it has four houses again. It's sad, we were allies with them.

We have no doubt that Hufflepuff will return with something greater, that's the fun of it all. There's even a notice board just outside the great hall. To keep you updated with all the goings on in the battle, It updates itself automatically too. Hufflepuff will know.

\--SG--

The next day, I wake up to a regular morning, but I'm on edge. Hufflepuff will be onto us soon. It all seems so normal as I get dressed, eat breakfast, go to class. Then we reach double charms, where we are surrounded by Hufflepuff students. One hour and 45 minutes of learning the levitation charm later, we start to pack up.

BANG!

"Protego!"

I look up to see the Hufflepuffs in bright pink, frilly dresses.

"Ha!"

I look over to see Sage's triumphant face and realisation clicks. It rebounded. That would of been us. I can't help but laugh too.

"What is going on here?!" Professor Flitwick asks.

"Nothing!" We respond as we run for our house points' lives.


	3. First Year III

Two days after the charms class incident, nothing happened. Literally nothing. Like an unplanned cease-fire. But as they learned last time, silence never means nothing. Never. They were planning something big. We all will have to be prepared. The war is deepening. I just know it.

\--SG--

"Ok Hufflepuffs! We all know the plan?"

An answer of yes rippled through the assembled 'troops' as I like to call them.

"Team MMs, you move to the kitchen to persuade to elves to help us."

"Yes Sir!"

They troop off.

"Team Skittles, you scout them and make sure they are in position."

"Yes Sir!"

They leave too, although there is a muffled yell of 'OW! Watch it!', but that was ignored for giving the next team their instructions.

"Team Chocolate and Team Gummy Bears, assume your assigned posts and stations."

They disappear, disillusioned.

"The rest of you, be innocent bystanders!"

Yes, this will work well.

\--SG-- 

"I don't like this, this is weird," Georgia whispers.

"I know," I reply.

It kind of shows how bad this particular war is, if I think about it, that we have to hide under the wards in their common room so often. The only time we go out is for meals and classes. Scuttling like mouses through corridors. Hey, I guess we *cough* Georgia *cough* started it. Now we've got to end it. For the past few days we've been planning to prank the Hufflepuffs. Now, today is the day. Today is the day we release our prank. Yes release. This is going to be good. Georgia and I have worked how to use Legilimency. We've practiced so much we have a connection. We don't even need to give eye-contact to speak now. We are ready. Let's go.

\--SG--

"Come on! We're going to be late!" I whisper.

"I know, but I have a bad feeling-" Sage responds.

"What was that?!?!" I hiss. This isn't good.

BANG! PLOP! PLOP! SNAP!

"Ahhhh!!" Sage and I scream in usion.

"Gotcha!"

Oh.

My.

God.

Angus Doge.

Oh, yeah, you're probably wondering who he is. Well, he's a Hufflepuff in our year. He's a little bit younger than I am. He leads a lot of the pranks. And then there's the problem of his little sidekick, Ashley Songs. Who took a photo.

I look over at Sage and her newly rainbow hair which was turning to brown slop. I only need to look at my own to see I'm not much better. While Sage took most of the paint and glitter, my blonde hair is already stained by the gloop of the paint.

"Volatilis Lutum!" I hear Sage hiss and I can't help but feel the satisfaction of hearing Songs and Doge scream as the bat bogey hex hits them. Serves them right!

The Hufflepuffs quickly disappear into the Great Hall.

"Come on, Evanesco!" I say as we walk towards the Great Hall too.

\--SG--

"-and the look on their faces!"

"I know right!"

"There they are now!"

"Losers!" Ashley calls.

They don't seem to look bothered as they sit down at their tiny table at the front of the hall. Even with the massive picture of them hanging from the ceiling. Hmm. I see Georgia pull out her wand and point it at the painting. Just as I see her mouth moving there's an explosion coming from the painting….and the head table?

"Ahhhhhhh!!!!" I hear the squeals and screams of my housemates as winged snakes slither across the table and swoop in from the ceiling. Those Slytherclaws!

Slip! I can only watch as the benches of the Hufflepuff table turn to ice. I look at Dillon and Ravit, they look just as confused as the rest of my house.

Crack! Ouch! Aww! The food! Stone?!? The duo of Slytherclaws still look confused. Then I look to see the Gryffindor table cheering and hi-fiving. And the Slytherins. Wait, the Slytherins?!?!?

"Oww!"

I hear the moans of my housemates because of the stones in their stomachs. Literally. Ouch. That hurts. With a final bang, glue and confetti rain from the sky, covering us. There's the Slytherclaws, again. I hear the telltale snap of a camera as I double over in pain, leaving the Great Hall. Apparently paint isn't enough. I will get them all. Mark my words.


	4. First Year IV

A/N: Gussy: Thanks for reviewing every chapter. We can't respond to guest reviews as easily as people who have accounts so don't feel bad if we don't respond. On to the chapter.

—-SG—-

After getting pranked and pranking the Hufflepuffs, we run down to the common room in all due haste.

"Well, that was unexpected!" Sage huffs.

"I know, I actually feel bad for them. Sorta."

"Well, that's a first!"

"You're saying I'm heartless?!"

"No, I'm saying that you wanted to cover them in blood, like, four days ago!"

"Meh."

"So what next?"

"I don't know. But it can't be too big, there's only two of so, don't know…"

Sage looks like she is thinking.

"I have an idea."

Time passes.

"And…"

Sage smiles. "Let's contact the Ravenclaws."

"Didn't they pull out?..."

"Yep."


End file.
